HEY YOU! PERSON THAT CAN'T WRITE TT FANFICTION!
by Little Miss Juliet
Summary: No, really. This is complete satire, so don't take me TOO seriously. Rated M for all of my insane psycho freak swearing. I added another installment! Whoo!
1. Chapter 1

NOTE: _**I AM NOT TARGETING/BULLYING/TROLLING ANYONE! THIS IS SATIRE!**_ Look it up! Wait, I did it for you:

sat-ire

[sat-ahy-r]

–noun

1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing,denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human follyand vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.

3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.

I'm merely venting about my irks of the Teen Titans fandom that I SEE ALL THE TIME! Especially the newer TT writer generation. Of course, most of them are 12-year-old girls. (Note: I did start out as an angst-ridden 12-year-old, but I have erased all evidence of such. Plus, I am now a 15-year-old bitch that can write to a degree.) Sigh. But BEFORE YOU FLAME: DAMMIT PEOPLE I AM BEING SARCASTIC.

And because I'm venting/ranting/bitching so...freely, I swear A LOT. So rated M for language. NAWT SUM TOTALY HAWT SECKS.

Just don't ever write anything I mention in this "story!"

-Love, Misty

* * *

_**PART 1: THE OC**_

A beautiful, stunningly gorgeous girl's eyelashes fluttered. Once, twice, and then she blinked up to see five teenagers staring down at her.

This too-good-to-be-true girl's name was Moonfire Angel Rose Yolanda Saturday Unagi Elanora GRAYSON WILSON ROTH. AND SHE WAS SOMEONE FROM ROBIN'S/RAVEN'S/SLADE'S EPIC TRAGIC PAST.

This girl has flowing hair that changed colors like those cheep, somewhat fun mood rings. Oh. So did her eyes! She could control all elements, morph into any creature, read minds, fly, and all this other detailed shit. BUT! She has this amazing tattoo/scar/some item of jewelry that MARKED HER HORRID PAST.

Maybe she was raped, or her family was tragically killed, or she lost her memory! OR ALL OF THEM. This girl was just a little angst magnet.

BUT SHE WAS ALSO A BOY MAGNET!

Robin, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Slade, Speedy, Kid Flash, Jericho, Aqualad, Red Star, Red-X! They all go a-swooning when she's around!

And a girl magnet. See, she's sexy enough to be a lesbian. Oh yes.

BUT SHE WAS DISGUISED.

See, she's disguised in the form of a plain, average teenage girl that happens to have super powers. BUT UNDERNEATH IS THIS...**BITCH** that annoys the living **SHIT** out of any good writer.

Now, on the other hand, we have a self-insert, Misty. Her status goes as follows:

Name: Misty

Age: 15

Powers: Pyrokinesis (Pyrokinetic) Power of/over fire, for you simple minded people.

Appearance: FUCKING TINY (4' 11.5") with past-the-shoulders black-dyed-red hair. Is Asain. Weighs 95 pounds on a good day. Is pretty.

Outfit: Cheerleading uniform. (Come on people! A flame-throwing cheerleader is one of the sexiest things on the planet.)

Personality (Good): Can be sweet. Is naive. Above-average smart. Loyal. Energetic.

Personality (Bad): Straight up BITCH. Mild attention whore. Lazy as hell. Materialistic. Naturally jealous and/or possessive, _especially_ over guys. Clingy. Obsessive (but for self-declared good reasons.) Sarcastic. Stubborn (but this trait can be seen as a good thing.)

This character is a self-insert of the author, who, is actually very like her SI, but sadly, is not a flame-throwing cheerleader. (Damn.)

Call the author biased, but she does not consider her SI as a Mary-Sue. Just because she's envisioned her OC would come into play a few generations after the current Titans (Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, Raven, Beast Boy, etc.) The only Mary-Sue quality that the author could find is that her SI would be a leader of the Titan team that resides in the main Tower.

The end.

* * *

**_PART 2: THE FANNON!RAVEN AND THE ROBRAE!STARFIRE_**

Raven was crying/moaning/sobbing/cutting/angsting/bitching/etc. desperately/hopelessly/painfully/tragically/suicidally/gothically/etc.

FOR SHE WAS IN LOVE.

It was ROBIN! No, BEAST BOY...actually, Robin, because Fannon!Raven generally comes from the horrible writings of the Rob/Rae community.

So yeah, Raven was in love with Robin, BUT ALAS! HE WAS WITH STARFIRE! The RobRae!Starfire had STOLEN ROBIN. THAT SLUT.

So now Fannon!Raven was horribly heartbroken.

(Insert some cliche, badly-written story and then something about how Fannon!Robin and Fannon!Raven get together and RobRae!Starfire is portrayed as some...ergh. Bitch/slut/whore and totally out of character. Actually, everyone's OOC. Terra magically comes back to get BB out of the way and Cyborg doesn't exist.)

And then the two love birds lived happily ever after.

The end.

* * *

**_PART 3: TERRA COMES BACK! LYKE OH EM GEE!_**

Terra came back to the Titans. Even though she wasn't truly happy with her life with super powers and she was much better freed from her powers, SHE CAME BACK ANYWAY.

The end.

* * *

**_PART 4: THE ROB/RAE/RED-X TRIANGLE_**

Once upon a time, the dark bird was caught between her fearless leader Robin and Red-X, who she never actually talked to, but loved anyway!

And then all this nonsense about this epic love and she's all angsty and crap. Sighsighsigh.

The end.

* * *

_A/n - The parting note: I got lazy. Besides, it's all true. I see all of these horrible "plots/stories" ALL OVER THE PLACE. Believe me, I WOULD flame, but the little voice that says "you are more mature than that" comes in, so I don't. But that doesn't stop me from sending death wishes to those authors and the reviewers that say "OMG SO GOOD! CONTINUE!" and create more butthurt for me and the rest of the respective writing community._

_Maybe more, assuming I can find something else to bitch about._


	2. Chapter 2

SWEET MAMA I AM BORED!

So I shall continute!

* * *

_**PART 5: THE AUTHOR INTERVENTION! PLUS MOAR BAD WRITING!**_

So one Day, reaven was walkin around the titans tower and she said that She was in love with beastboy! So she flewed to his Room where she nocked on da door! (a/n: bb was playing video games!)

bb i love you! said raven.

i luv u 2 rae! said bb and raven's eyes glowed with happy tears (a/n: her powers r under control, so she didnt blow anythin up)

and then they kissed.

The end!

* * *

_**PART 6: CYBORG IS AN ANTI-TOFU ACTIVIST!**_

Cyborg and Beast Boy were arguing about tofu versus meat.

Again.

So Robin, Starfire and Raven went out for Chinese.

The end.

* * *

_**PART 7: RAVEN IS NOT A FASHIONISTA!**_

Robin was all like, "WHOA!" because Raven was wearing a strapless dress, that a white, mind you, and lace-up high heels and her hair was magically long and tied up in a super cute bun. (a/n: its like this super cute dress from this one magazine, but i dont remember!)

WITH CHOPSTICKS.

Starfire walked in the room and saw this amazingly sexy Raven and got SUPER JEALOUS AND SCREAMED BECAUSE ROBIN LOVED RAVEN.

The end.

* * *

_**PART 8: STARFIRE APPARENTLY NEEDS AN EDUCATION!**_

"Hey Star," Cyborg said to his alien friend on day, "what's up?"

So Starfire looked up. Cyborg, finding this weird since Starfire had gotten the concept of "what's up" a few hours after he'd explained the "Earth way of greetings."

But from then on, Starfire took everything literally.

No really.

Everyone thought this was bizarre because Starfire wasn't stupid. She was really smart and stuff. Like she knew how all these physics worked and the speed of light. She could speak about a dozen languages and only four of them were learned through lip-contact.

In short, she was quite brilliant.

But somehow something'd gone wrong. Like someone (coughROBRAE FANScough) had made her some...in lack of other words, IDIOT.

And it made all the Starfire fans mad.

Still does.

The end.

* * *

_**PART 9: BLACK GANGSTAS YO! **_and _**INVASION OF THE SONG FIC!**_

So this one day after Bumblebee and Cyborg were making out because they're both BLACK AND MUST BE IN LOVE! (a/n: I DO like Cy/Bee, but not that shit that a lot of people write. Or that I USED to write.)

SO THEY STARTED RAPPING!

BECAUSE THEY ARE GANGSTAS!

_Don't player hate on me, player hate somebody else_  
_Yo, yo yo I'm a gangster_  
_Where my dogs at?_  
_Bark with me if you're my dog_  
_Yo yo yo, I'm going, Im going to give a shout out to all the player haters_  
_(I don't like player haters)_  
_If you're a player hater don't player, player hate on me_  
_(player hate someone else)_  
_I'm a gangster, I'm straight up_  
_(straight up gangster, dude)_  
_Grrr I'm steaming mad. grrr_

_I'm a gangster, I'm a straight up G_  
_The gangster life is the life for me_  
_Shooting people by day, selling drugs by night_  
_Being a gangster is hella tight._  
_I walk around town with a stark erection, then gave your mom a yeast infection_  
_I saw the police man and I punched him in the eye_  
_To serve and protect, WHAT A LIE!_  
_I also don't like white people, you shouldn't too_  
_And don't get me started about the jews_

_I'm a gangster_  
_Grrr I'm mad_  
_I'm a gangster_  
_My rhymes are bad_  
_I'm a gangster_  
_I'm iced out like a freezer_  
_I'm a gangster_  
_I don't listen to Weezer_

_I dropped out of school at the age of 3 (why?)_  
_Coz all the teachers tried to player hate on me.(oh)_  
_My rhymes are cool, just like doing cocaine_  
_My rhymes are hot, like a burning flame_  
_Sisqo is my homie, he's a ganster too_  
_Me and Sisqo are the leaders of the gangster crew_  
_I like to be in jail and he likes to sing and dance(yay)_  
_Some say we're the perfect match_

_STEP OFF! STEP BACK! STEP AWAAAY! STEP BACK! DON'T STEP FORWARD! STEP BACK! DON'T STEP FORWARDS! STEP BACK! BACKWARDS, DON'T STEP TO ME! DO NOT STEP TO MEEE! grrrr!_

_I'm giving a shout out to my homies in cell block 8_  
_Being in jail sucks cuz you always have to masturbate_  
_Except when a Jewish person goes to jail all my homies cheer_  
_They will make minced meat out of his rear_  
_Ben Peddy helped me make the gangster beat to this song_  
_I shot him in the face cuz he looked at me wrong_

_I'm a gangster_  
_I drop bombs like Hiroshima_  
_I'm a gangster_  
_Bitch suck on my wiener!_  
_I'm a gangster_  
_I drive a cool car_  
_I'm a gangster_  
_I smoke weed in a cigar_

_Yo my gangster flow_  
_Yo, yo yo yo_

_im rolling on dubs iced out like hockey_  
_I dreamt I got kicked out of Japan for drinking all the sake_  
_fuck a bitch_  
_give me head hoe!_  
_whats up to my dogs,_  
_yo yo yo_  
_they play this song on the radio all day long_  
_so everyone can hear my gangster song_

_Nobody thought I'd blow up like a firestone tire-_  
_Oh there's no beat left_

_(gunshots)_  
_Die, Die you Santa Clause die_  
_no i don't wanna do acapella_

_i like to slap bitches_  
_i like to slap hoes..._

THE GANGSTA SONG.

Word.

* * *

PART 10: THE OOC INTERVENTION!

Robin was being all moody and was on caffine and sex withdrawl.

Raven had some SERIOUS PMS and was cutting herself with her Handy-Dandy Kit For The Seriously Fucked Up Mind that came with a pretty razor and a pair of safety skizzors.

Beast Boy was morphed as a horny dog and was humping Raven's legs.

Cyborg was a-fixing his car.

Starfire was pole dancing.

Just a normal day in Jump City.

* * *

_**PART 11: WHO THE FUCK IS SLADE? **_or **_THE ROCKY HORROR TITAN SHOW!_**

"HAHAHAHA I WILL CONSTANTLY ANNOY THE TITANS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Slade.

THEN ONE DAY! Raven was all weepy and shit, so SLADE COMFORTED HER!

And she was all "LEMME SEE YER TRU FACE!1!one!" So SLADE took of his mask!

AND REVEALED TIM CURRAY AS DR. FRANK-N-FURTER! IN THAT SEXY CORSET THING! AND HE STARTED TO SING AN DANCE!

"It's just a jump to the left.  
And then a step to the right.  
Put your hands on your hips.  
You bring your knees in tight.  
But it's the pelvic thrust  
That really drives you insane.  
Let's do the time-warp again.  
Let's do the time-warp again," Slade sang and danced and thrust his hips! Rvane was super turned on by this and they had hawt rawking secks.

The end.

* * *

_**PART 12: THE AUTHOR IS HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS!**_ or _**NEW VERBS! **_

Raven was embarassed by walking in on Robin and Starfire's hot make-out session, so she sweatdropped.

Beast Boy had told a bad joke, so Cyborg facepalmed.

The end.

* * *

**_PART 13: THE AUTHOR HAS A BONE TO PICK WITH BAD RAVEN CHARACTERIZATION!_** or **_RAVEN SINGS!_**

"Dude let's start a band!" Beast Boy said one day.

"BOO-YAH THAT'S AWESOME!" Cyborg yelled.

"GLORIOUS FRIENDS!" Starfire clapped.

"Who shall be our singer?" Robin asked.

Then the word stopped.

"...that is a good question," Cyborg said.

_"I shall do it~!" _Raven sang, floating into the room.

"YES! BECAUSE RAVEN IS THE SPAWN OF CARRIE UNDERWOOD AND THE FRAY" Beast Boy shouted.

SO THEY MADE A BAND! CALLED "THE TITANS!" Sooooo original!

AND THEN THEY HAD THEIR FIRST CONCERT! AND RAVEN STARTED TO SING!

_"I'm this gothic girl_  
_with a tragic past!_  
_I want to find love!_  
_But it will never last!_

_I kinda like my leader!_  
_He's strong, and sexy too!_  
_He's my leader Robin!_  
_Robin, I LOVE YOU!_

_I have this "friend" called Starfire!_  
_She is SUCH a slut!_  
_She's also very stupid!_  
_Her favorite word is "what?"_

_This sexy man named Beast Boy_  
_is my bestest friend in bed!_  
_I love it when he fucks me,_  
_but don't tell Robin what I said!_

_Then there's this guy Cyborg,_  
_I helped build his car!_  
_We screw in the back seat_  
_and he's the best by far!_

_Now there's this theif,_  
_his name is Red-X!_  
_He comes 'round my room,_  
_and we have rocking sex! _

_So what have you learned?_  
_From my song, so cheap and corny?_  
_You should meet me backsatge,_  
_BECAUSE I'M FUCKING HORNY!"_

And the song sold A RAV-ILLION COPIES ON iTitanTunes! (a/n: Rav-illion is a new # because raven is lyke, so ttly awsum lol!)

The end.

* * *

The REAL a/n: Go back and "read" my "song" again! I was listening to the Chicago OST and I made up "The Raven Song" up to the turn of "When You're Good To Mama!" I find it QUITE hilarious.

But I didn't write "The Gangster Song"

God, now I'm just being bitchy...well...more than usual.


End file.
